Suicide

Yesterday, we were sitting around at my brother's 50th birthday party, talking about suicide. Someone said he thought suicide could be noble. Another person said that suicide was cowardly. I said nothing because I thought neither were true.

For me, suicide can be the result of a deep depression. The illness makes you want to take your life. You feel dead; what's taking it one step further?

Our friend's father committed suicide. He was 85, and he was just beginning to fail. He was supposedly in good mental health, but he just didn't want a long drawn out illness to take him out of this life. While he was still relatively healthy, he shot himself.

Suicidal feelings often come with bipolar illness. Most of you reading this post have probably felt suicidal at one point or another.

So what keeps us from doing it?

I like to remind myself that feelings aren't permanent. They come and go. I also think of my family when I feel that way. I think of abandoning my son, and I don't want to do it.

Everyone should write him/herself a letter when he/she feels extremely healthy. In it, he should write to his depressed self and give himself a pep talk; the letter should talk the person out of wanting to commit suicide.

A list of all the things that make life worthwhile.

What would be on my list?

My best friend's face. Greek olives. My husband's laughter. My mother's advice. My son's little voice. My brother's teasing. My other brother's cruises. Fall leaves, bargain shopping, Christmas lights, homemade cookies, clean sheets, a warm dog, getting dressed up, cooking, fresh tulips...

What's on your list?