Ants and Babies

I was at the store today buying diapers and ant traps. As I was coming out of the grocery store, a stranger looked into my cart and said, "Ants and babies." Isn’t that just like life?
What I think she meant is when it rains it pours. The old adage. What else could she have meant?
This relates to bipolar illness.
When one is depressed, even breathing can be difficult. Let alone taking a shower. But for most people, life goes on. A neighbor knocks on the door. A husband wants breakfast. The car needs gas. There are no groceries in the house. Depletion.
When one is manic, you can’t seem to get enough of things. Either you want to buy, buy, buy; talk, talk, talk; have sex, sex, sex. It is pouring on you. Life. And this time, you can’t get enough of it.
Extremes. That’s what bipolar illness is about. Torrential rain. Then, drought.
Better have several essentials to help you survive the downpours and dryness.
Bipolar Essentials
A good friend, someone who will keep you from getting soggy and washing away. My good friend is Mary. Her father suffers from depression, and she from OCD. So she’s in the biz. The show biz called "mental illness." Sometimes, just talking to her on the phone shrinks my head. It’s her compassion.
A good bipolar cocktail. Medication is a must, I think. I myself am on four meds. Something for mania; something for anxiety; something for depression and something for a touch of obsessive compulsive disorder.
A good television show, something you can lose yourself in. For me, this is "Sex and the City." I never miss it on Tuesday nights on TBS. Those gorgeous shots of New York and those gorgeous women and gorgeous clothes.
A good psychiatrist. Let’s face it. Your doctor is your best friend. It helps if he or she is cute.
A good form of exercise. For me, it’s walking the dog and the baby. Around the block. Sometimes twice a day. Best done with a walking partner.
A good, supportive spouse. If you don’t have one, get one.
A good favorite dessert. Mine is the seven layer cookie bar. Melt butter; add crushed graham crackers; add walnuts, chocolate chips, coconut and sweetened condensed milk. Bake. Eat.
For women, good make-up. Lots of it. When I was in the hospital, there was a doctor there who thought that if a woman wore make-up, it was a sign that she was sane. This has rubbed off on me, and consequently, I always wear make-up. I’m a Clinique woman, myself.
A good car. People judge you by your car. If you drive a junker, they look down on you. Then, if they find out you’re mentally ill, the really shy away from you.
Good, nice clothes. Dress nicely. I went through a tee-shirt and shorts stage. No one took me seriously. And they didn’t even know about my mental condition.
A good pet. I have a beagle. He’s very nice to cuddle at the end of the day. I also like the smell of his feet. They smell like earth. Pets keep you happy. You take care of them, and they take care of you.
A good computer. Even if you don’t feel like going outside, with a computer and an internet connection, you can do a lot. Shop. Talk to friends. Research. Watch movies. Order stamps.
Write.
A good, supportive family. Don’t alienate them. I know it’s easy to do when you’re sick. Keep the channels open. They are your main life source.
A good, favorite restaurant. Even sad, depressed or completely high lunatics need food. My favorite restaurant is an Indian one. Raj Mahal.
A good job. This is perhaps the most important thing bipolar people need to survive the torrential rain. Something to do. I used to teach college students how to write. Now, I do freelance writing and teaching. You’ve got to have something to do with your time. If you’re on disability and can’t work, volunteer. Do something.
Boy, do I have a lot to do. I’ve got ants and a baby!
Not to mention bipolar disorder...and corns and shaving nicks and grey roots and bushy eyebrows and dry elbows and...