The Big Picture

Life is a struggle. When you add in children, it’s even more of a struggle. How does one cope with all the pressures that come from being a parent?
I’ve devised a great little trick that I remind myself of whenever I get bogged down. The trick is looking at THE BIG PICTURE. Doing this relieves one at least momentarily from the drudgery that is the day at hand. Most often, we look at the LITTLE PICTURE, the one that’s closest to us. For example, in the little picture, you hands are covered with poo; your kid is screaming; the dinner is burning on the stove; the phone’s ringing, and your dog is eating a diaper.
But in the BIG PICTURE, you’re a stay-at-home mom raising a loveable toddler, who used to be a little infant, who is doing very well, thriving, you might say.
It’s simply a matter of changing the focus.
LITTLE PICTURE #2
Your purse contains an empty baby bottle, crumbs from Goldfish crackers, a dried-up baby wipe, a baby spoon and a crinkled unused (thank God) disposable diaper. You can’t even find a lipstick. And anyway, who wears lipstick?
THE BIG PICTURE
You’re a stay-at-home mom raising a loveable toddler, who used to be a little infant, who is doing very well, thriving, you might say.
LITTLE PICTURE #3
Your basement floor is covered with laundry. The washer is broken because you didn’t use one of those mesh bags for the baby socks (there’s a sock stuck in the machinery somewhere); the dog is vomiting; you have no clean clothes, and you’ve got to take the baby out tonight. But wait a minute, there are a clean pair of pajamas, and they look a little like a respectable shirt and pants...
Repeat after me: THE BIG PICTURE
You’re a stay-at-home mom raising a loveable toddler, who used to be a little infant, who is doing very well, thriving, you might say.
LITTLE PICTURE #4
Your mother tells you she wants to travel in her old age, not babysit. You call the nearest daycare, only to be put off. They have an opening on Fridays only. You don’t really trust anyone with your child. You can’t bring yourself to begin to call more daycares. You decide to quit your one link to the real world–your part-time job.
To the music now: THE BIG PICTURE
You’re a stay-at-home mom raising a loveable toddler, who used to be a little infant, who is doing very well, thriving, you might say.
This little BIG PICTURE trick works quite well. It’s a matter of substituting something ugly with something nice, or at least neutral.
You might have heard of this kind of psychological trick before. Psychologists and self help people have been advocating for years what they call "positive visualizations" as a relaxation technique. What one does is visualize a beautiful, stress-free environment for several seconds. For instance, one might imagine one is standing on a pine porch, looking at a beautiful, ice-cold lake in the Norwegian mountains. With this visualization, one is to begin to relax a bit.
The BIG PICTURE Mantra works in the same way.
What the mantra ultimately does is give you a few seconds away from the hellishness you’re in, and the body naturally relaxes and feels better.
By changing the focus and language, one remembers that, overall, one is not in TOO DEEP of DOO DOO.
Try it. Since you’ve decided to take the plunge and have a child, you’re certainly brave enough to try a little self-help advice. Try it.
It worked for me.